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Sexual Status

Title: Sexual Status
Author: snuffybaby
Disclaimer: RM and Co. own the Glee Universe
Rating: PG-13 (mentions of sex; swearing)
Pairing: Puckleberry
Word Count: 893
Spoilers: AU – (3/13/11) Post 215 "Sexy";
Summary: Based on prompt from puckrachel drabblememe.
Author's Note: another short fill...


Puck (Billy): So, uh, are you still a virgin?
Rachel (Wendy): Why is my sexual status so important to you?


Rachel and Puck sat a few seats away from each other. They were the only members of Chastity Club that had arrived for the weekly meeting. Rachel sat primly with her clipboard in front of her, prepared to document minutes for the meeting. Puck was leaning back in his chair, tapping out a country song against his knee.

Not even a minute had passed before Puck looked at her. “Guess there’s no meeting. Let’s jet.”

“Noah, I believe the rule is five minutes. It’s only been one.”

He shrugged, “Whatever. No one’s showing.”

She eyed him. “If you’re so confident that no one will attend, then why did you come?”

Another shrug. “Nothing better to do.”

“Where’s Lauren? I thought you guys were a couple or something.”

“Not a couple. She’s resisting my efforts to woo her.”

Tilting her head, she looked at him in surprise. “Really?”

He smirked then. “I know I’m irresistible, but Lauren’s just as badass. She ‘needs to be wooed,’” he said with air quotes.

“How is that going?”

“Making progress.”

“You’ve really matured, Noah.” She smiled at him. “In the past, you never would have pursued a girl like you’re pursuing Lauren.”

His face fell, his brows furrowing. “You’re right. I never have.”

She was startled by his change in mood. “It’s not a bad thing, Noah. It just shows that you’re really interested in her.”

He wasn’t listening to her anymore. His mind was working through his recent actions and his Valentine discovery of being ‘in love’ with Lauren Zizes. He was suddenly hit with the realization that if he had watched another dude chasing after a girl like he had been, he most likely would have tossed the dude in the dumpster. His mouth dropped in dismay. “What the hell has happened to me?”


“I’m a freaking badass. The biggest badass motherfucker in this place. I don’t need to be chasing some curvy chick. Girls fall at my freaking feet!”

“Um, Noah-”

“I need to regain my man points.” His eyes stared unseeing at the tabletop, trying to think of a way to recover from his recent dip into loserville. An idea suddenly sparked. Puck looked up at Rachel. “So, uh, are you still a virgin?”

Her eyebrow arched, her arms crossing defensively. “Why is my sexual status so important to you?”

“Babe, everyone’s ‘sexual status’ is important to me.” He shifted to a chair closer to her. “Especially yours.”

“Noah, must you be so crass all the time.” Her hand came up. “And don’t tell me it’s because you’re a ‘badass’. That doesn’t excuse everything.”

Another chair closer, his gaze smoldering. “We both know you’re hot for me. You said it yourself, I totally turn you on. There’s no boyfriend to stop you now.”

She turned to face him when he settled in the chair next to her, his hand brushing her hair over her shoulder. She withheld a gasp when she found his (beautiful) face inches from hers. She nibbled her lip. “Noah,” her eyes lost in his intense gaze, “I’m in the Chastity Club… and so are you.”

“Not for long,” he whispered, moving closer.

Her hand came up to rest on his chest. “I shouldn’t.”

“You totally should.”

Her gaze dropped to his enticing lips and she surrendered. She leaned forward closing the gap between their mouths and kissed him.

Puck’s hand rose to cup her head, while the other turned her chair so that she was facing him. As they’re embrace deepened, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Usually not one to chatter, the thought escaped him, “You’re beautiful.”

Her hand buried in his Mohawk, running through the soft line of his hair, teasing him. She pressed herself against him, enjoying his warmth and the feel of his hard muscles. Rachel was busy sneaking a hand beneath his shirt to graze his hard abs that she didn’t protest when his hand cupped her right breast.

“So soft,” he murmured against her lips.

She countered, “So hard.”

The corner of his lip rose in a half smile. “You’re so hot, Berry.”

Her lips made a path to his neck. “You’re not bad yourself, Puckerman.”

“Oh my god!”

“Fuck,” Puck swore when he felt Rachel tense in his arms. He turned his head and glared at the interrupters. “What the fuck do you want?”

Quinn had covered her eyes and turned around, leaving the pair alone. Brittany and Artie were too shocked to do anything. Santana simply crossed her arms and gave him a look of disdain. “Seriously? First the White Rhino and now Manhands?”

“Like Lady Lips is such a catch,” he glared.

“Get a room,” she scoffed, before leaving; Brittany and Artie trailing behind her.

Alone again, Puck nudged her gently, “You okay?”

Rachel had dropped her forehead to his shoulder, blushing in embarrassment. She shoved at his shoulder in irritation.

“The hell?”

She sat up straight and glared at him. “You didn’t defend me.”

What the fuck expression in place, he just looked at her, waiting for an explanation.

“Santana’s veiled insult.”



“Babe, I’ve got no clue what you’re talking about. I forget what Santana says almost as soon as she says it.” He kissed her quickly, pulling her back against him. “Let’s get out of here.”

The End


Yes! I love Puck realizing he's changing and it's kind of funny that instead of returning to his 'screw everything that moves' mentality, he instead hooks-up with the one girl who'd pretty much demand a relationship.

I loved this and that they were interrupted. I don't know why, it just amuses me to no end when the glee club walks in on people unexpectedly, lol.
YAY!!! You filled my prompt!! This was great and so exciting for me lol!
fun! Of course Puck would instantly try to reassert his manhood by trying to hook up with another girl. I love the ending comment.
So much fun! Loved it!